Hmmmmmm.........

As I look back on the last few years of my worship life, I wonder how or where I would be if the leadership in my life would have done things "differently". Whether or not they would've sacked up at times when our voice was limited, or stopped the church from diluting the anointing that certain leaders had. This charade seems to be a common one at that place. But because they didn't, a worship team has crumbled, relationships were strained, and a sense of celebrity has taken over the importance of effective worship. How is it even remotely fair that a woman devotes herself to this and just gets the boot? Sure she is having a HUGE situation right now, but that doesn't mean you just drop her off near a ditch to fit a "celebrity" into your car then afterwards rub it in her face that this "celebrity" is the "solution" to your desperation. You had to hire this man becuase there was no investment in the "leadership" that was already dedicated to the team. But apparently dedication is never good enough. You drove away the people who were dedicated and then were scratching your heads wondering, Where did everybody go? More than half of your leaders left for your CNC South Side church. Another is only God knows where doing only God knows what. There is another couple that are going to leave your church when the opportunity arises. Get a freaking clue. Stop driving the anointing away, teach the people to get over themselves and teach some unity and none of this would've had to happen. And to the couple of people who asked me, Don't you wish you were back here for this? My answer is an emphatic and cheerful NO! Because I'm where God want's me to be. Which is somewhere serving HIM! Not serving myself or seeking a bigger name.

Out of Stock

Have you ever been to a store with a need for a certain sale product, only to find that it's sold out at the moment? As a customer and employee, this is a horrible and grueling inconvenience. Not only does it effect the customer, it costs the store the profit that they are now going lose to another market. It only makes sense that in order to be effective you would have plenty in stock to satisfy customer demand. I've come across many that have been searching for a vital product, only to find that it is completely out of stock on a constant basis. Our managers and supervisors have not given a logical explanation as to why they haven't carried this highly valued and necessary product. Then when we do have it in stock, it has been a cheap and poorly made counterfeit that is disgusting to all senses and constantly returned without refund. This lack of supply and demand has led so many to drop their business here to find this product elsewhere while our managers and supervisors are dumbfounded at the lack of sales and support. Maybe it's the bias that is shown to the eastern wing of the store that has all the money and time invested toward them. Which leads to the total neglect of the western section, the seasoned veterans and faithful employes have to work extra hard to keep their end of the store in shape and then have to exhaust even more effort working extra shifts in the eastern wing. Whatever the reason may be, it will not effect my decision to join the others who have left. I am submitting to my long time spiritual employer effective 4 August, 2011 my resignation. I am in search of  furthering my purpose and potential in this life. And I can only find it where there is potential for advancement and integration.

get to it

I'm so upset that I couldn't be at the meeting with Obama today. i would honestly chew his ear off about the wasted money that we've had to suffer with over his presidency, and bush's. he's taken the messes he swore to clean up and swept them under a rug to rot. our government has allowed so much money to be wasted on confrontations and this joke of a program called the department of homeland security. with all that money uganda and the majority of the world would be free from famine they'd be able to drink clean water and have fertile soil from the wells. there would be vaccines to rid common diseases in third world countries. BUT NO we have to worry about terrorists attacking our country when we can't even control the crime on our streets. Why waste 100's of billions of dollars bailing out companies that ran themselves into the ground, when we can gain the trust of a nation that's in desperate need by giving them 100 million. I've honestly lost all respect for the political side of this country when they won't spend a single cent unless it's something that will benefit them. Yet when they do spend, they don't give nearly enough. the people who run our country want those who have nothing to give (mainly because they took our money and threw it down the toilet with the department of homeland security, whose annual budget is 52 billion, which proves my point about wasting valuable money) to give all they have to help, but continue to waste 52 BILLION DOLLARS a year on mindless shenanigans. This is common sense, drop the fearful charade. we have nations crying out for help, get to it.

well then

my heart breaks for those in Haiti at the moment, one day they're picking up debris, the next, they're left trying to survive. if they do survive, then theyll be spending their time regrouping, or rescuing. which leads me to wonder, what can I honestly do? I mean i can always pray, but my spirit longs for more. do i have to rip a door off it's hinge and float over there? i can't afford to go there and school just started, so that kills my hope for now. but all i can do is sit and wait until the Lord prompts me to go.................and the beat goes on

NEW NEW NEW

Hooray! This looking forward to all the new(s) that are coming into my life. New year, New decade, new pastimes. Everything is new to me, and hopefully it will continually be new. I'm finally starting classes for my radiology course. I've been waiting so long and now I finally get to stretch my brain lol. New life experiences are sure to come with this alone. I've found so many new inspirations this year. Influencing my writing, my pride, my love, my music, everything is going to be new new new. Never before seen, or heard of. I'm becoming impatient just waiting for all of this newness to explode and to overwhelm all the bland and typical things we're forced to witness. and take part of. So be ready for anything, because new LIFE is coming this way. An innumerable flow of new blessings, new beginnings , new love, are waiting in line waiting for your gates to open. Once the gates are opened, brace yourself, because the newness of God will make an impact.

............... yeah

Just a few funny things i've noticed over the last few weeks.

I've been tickled to no end about the way i've been confronted about many things lately. Whether it's one person being overly dramatic about me missing an alarm when they miss theirs every other week and I take the heat for it. Or if it's the same person putting my business out for a few to hear when the business is none of his nor theirs. Whether someone tells me it's immoral to visit my girlfriend, because she's away at college and I rarely get to see her. Or I need my spirit checked because I went to a different church. If you're seriously gonna be so judgmental over little things and throw the "experience" card at me, then please kindly PISS OFF. I have no time or energy to waste on your "holier than thou" bs that you call advice. If I seriously wanna throw everything away and waste away to nothing, I'll take your advice. But I seriously tend to improve, so ignoring you might be the best option, not only for me, but those who accidently stumble in your path. Because I pray that they have enough self-respect and wisdom to ignore any word that comes out of your mouth. Manipulation is the lowest form of deception, and you've seemed to master it. So don't be surprised if I roll my eyes at you when your mouth opens. Because I already know that whatever comes out will only be left to rot. It's not of God and your pride swells when your words are heard. So if you really wanna help me out, drop the kind charade you're pulling. Drop the judgment and SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!

First Comes Love

What a funny thing love is. It really does make you do the strangest things. Whether it makes you smile for no apparent reason, or brings you to tears when you realize how honest it truly is. Which brings me to so many questions, yet leads me to so many answers. Looking at my friends, I've always wondered when or how they knew that they found the one for them. The answer was obvious, because you could just see it written all over their faces. But after all the years of asking, and going to all the weddings. The only thing that matters is the love that they share. You see that, and you want that love all to yourself, so you either search and you search and you search, or you wait and you wait and you wait. Hoping that you'll find it, or that it'll sit next to you and grab your attention. And when you do find it, it brings out this new person that you've never known was within you. This different, better person. Who strives to be the best man, boyfriend, husband, lover, worker, father, the list goes on and on. When I found love, everything within me burned for that. And since that day, I've only made progress in life. I found work, I'm enrolled @ LC, I'm more sensible with finances, I'm about to get my license. Love has driven me to this point where all I can do is improve. My relationships, my whole life in general has changed so much. So whether you find love, or love tackles you from out of nowhere. EMBRACE IT. Because if love is in it's truest form, you will become BETTER than what you ever thought possible.